Hoist on my own petard

Round about spring 2008, my Uncle Rob loaned me a Haltrac rope engine hoist, which I was a bit sceptical about, but nevertheless set about arranging an overhead system for. Two ceiling joists were conveniently placed at either end of the engine bay, so I destroyed an otherwise perfectly good hole saw by cutting 2in holes out of both of them to fit in a hefty steel tube which was extended to the required length by fitting a smaller diameter metal extendable leg from a kitchen work bench in it. Then wooden battens were fastened over the outsides of the holes to prevent any slippage.

I was confident about the set-up, but would the hoist work? Once I'd acquired a few links of chain to suspend the hoist from, all that remained was to get my mate Jon round to give me a hand. Was expecting this would merely involve pushing the car back once the engine was lifted and I was hanging on to the end of the rope, so we could then dump it on the floor. As it turned out, once we'd removed the overlooked bolt still connecting the engine to bellhousing, it still wasn't plain sailing. With one of us tugging on the rope, the other lifting and pulling at the engine till we were blue in the face, there was an ominous amount of creaking (from joists rather than us, I think) until we eventually had to concede defeat.

Being so close yet so far, the following week I reserved a proper crane from a place near work, which was conveniently much cheaper than the big-name hire places. Of course the day I went to pick it up was the exact same day that a mate of mine decided to bring in the dishwasher I'd said I'd buy from him eight months ago... The bloke wheeled out the massive crane, and we both stood looking gormlessly into the back of my GTi, 70% of which was taken up with a supposedly compact Hotpoint Aquarius. "I'll come back," I said...

I never did though, as I decided to start off down a fresh road of bidding on ebay. This would take some time...